Dumbo t-shirts

I'm sure you've seen them. I have: T-shirts that announce "Mary and the Sheep Road Crew" or "Dive Crew" or some other 'I'm in a crew' slogan.

Why do people advertise that they are part of a bunch of menials? Road Crew? Dive Crew? people who don't, as a rule, think of anything, they just push and carry.

The best slogan I've seen is:

"No I will not fix your computer."

Presumably worn by a computer scientist.

Here's another:

"No, I will not join your boring conversation."

or

"Go away, unless you are interesting."

or

"Don't be ordinary, have an idea."

Such are endless, and they get away from the 'I really want to be a hod-carrier' type of slogan.

Coffee worshippers #2

Thinking about the church in Annandale that worships coffee, I was wondering how other faiths might try to represent themselves to a modern Annandale demographic: I couldn't imagine Moslems having a banner with a big falaffel on it, nor Hindus with a bowl of pilaf, maybe I could imagine Zen Buddhists with a plate of sushi (that's way cool), but regular Bhuddists would show, I think a bowl of boiled rice.

This could change the face of religious Australia! But I think the other religions are a bit more serious about thier beliefs than the coffee club is!

Some viewers may be distressed

The Russians this time. During the ABC TV news, we were warned that the images of the Moscow airport bomb blast may distress some viewers.

They certainly got to me: it was typical, out of focus, rough pans, poor framing, too much 'hand-held' grainy, lousy edits...it was a shambles. I was very distressed!

Dog Moron

The only name for dog owners, such as this yokel, who can't read the sign that says 'no dogs'. He's walking these dogs at a lagoon that is popular with families with very young infants: such and dogs do not mix. In fact, check out the legislation.

Atheists

I had a dig at a church a while back, so now, to maintain balance, I'll blast atheists, who are, by and large, a collection of pompous, know-it-all prigs.

Q: What's the difference between God and an atheist?

A: God knows that the atheist is just a pile of dust (or sh*t).

And who cares what dust (sh*t) thinks?

Mirizozo

I went to Mirazozo at the Opera House the other day. On the website one learns that this is an earth-shattering transport to an experience that will change your life...well, it was nice; I'd call it trivially diverting, like most touted earth-shattering experiences promoted by artists, intellectual do-gooders and the chattering classes in general!

Summer Fun

I don't know if its dawned on anyone else, but summers have been so interesting in recent years: the South Asian tsunami, Victoria's bushfires, the Haiti earthquake, and now Queensland is underwater.

ABC TV has been treating the floods like a sports cast: live crosses, studio updates, etc. But Kym Landers has to take the cake: she was almost jubilant with the fun of flood reporting the other night. C'mon Kym.

Now I know Anna Bligh is under pressure, and probably doing a great job, but what's special about Qlders? Well, if they get knocked down they'll get up again! Anna, everyone's like that; everyone pulls together, everyone helps each other...its called being human.

Flood Lesson 1

Don't build cities in flooding river valleys.

Seems simple, doesn't it? It didn't occur to Brisbane's planners!

Just Don't

Here's the drill: don't fly single engined low wing monoplanes, don't ride old Honda mini bikes, no riderless horses without saddles allowed, don't drive '68 Camaros, no labradors(!), don't light smoky fires, don't use old Winchester .222s, and lastly don't use a golf driver to hit a cricket ball near a flag.

All pretty sensible, really.

Government supports Scientology

I knew that the NSW Government had gone crazy when it decided on the Exploding Waratah for its logo. Now its gone the full distance and decided to sponsor the Church of Scientology: an Australian Government supporting a religion, and a dimwit one at that!

I saw it on the ferry wharf at Circular Quay in Sydney: "Keep Clear".

Scientologists urge one to become/stay/strive for 'clear'. It means that the ficticious gremlins are out of your system. Now the NSW Government is in on it too.

Coffee Worshippers?

Spotted on a church notice board in Annandale: I've seen some completely naff church adverts, but this is close to the bottom (or top): as if there aren't a million coffee shops in inner Sydney; or do they think that a coffee cup is what's missing in people's lives?

The Exploding Waratah

The NSW Government has decided to adopt a logo, you know, just like any other consumer product. Well, it's chosen the exploding waratah, and now sticks it everywhere. This is  because it has not actually DONE anything that we would remember it by!

If only all public servants would wear it as a lapel badge (you know how I love these), we'd be able to tell when to use short sentences and simple words with people we meet.

The NSW Exploding Waratah